


Dear Bucky

by Soulstoned



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Advice, Multi, Osmosis Fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-11
Updated: 2019-11-11
Packaged: 2021-01-27 11:00:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 485
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21391039
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Soulstoned/pseuds/Soulstoned
Summary: Bucky Barnes runs an advice column, despite being ludicrously unqualified to give advice.
Comments: 30
Kudos: 40
Collections: Osmosis Exchange





	Dear Bucky

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Charientist](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Charientist/gifts).

> This was written for the osmosis exchange, which means I have not actually consumed the canon.
> 
> The timeline and events are probably way wrong.
> 
> This fic contains Carol/Maria and sort of includes Peter/Tony, but neither features enough to feel worth tagging.
> 
> Tell me what I got right and what I got wrong!

Dear Bucky,

I recently made a new friend who is a lot older than me and very wealthy. He enjoys giving me gifts and making sure I am taken care of financially. The problem is most of my other friends won't stop teasing me and saying I have a sugar daddy. How do I convince them this is not the case?

Sincerely,

<s>Peter Parker</s> Not a sugar baby

Dear "Not a sugar baby,"

I'm not sure how to break it to you, but you absolutely have a sugar daddy. This doesn't have to be a bad thing, maybe you can get something cool out of the deal, like a new robot exoskeleton. If your friends give you shit, they're probably just jealous of your cool new robot exoskeleton.

-Bucky

Dear Bucky,

Nearly 20 years ago I went off into space on a mission. It was very important, and my girlfriend at the time who I had only recently reunited with (long story) understood why I had to go. 

I was gone far longer than I planned to be, and I'm not sure how to initiate contact with her now that I'm back on Earth. I was very close to her daughter and considered her my own, and she must be an adult now.

Should I try to find them? Would they even want to see me after this much time has passed?

Sincerely,

Original Avenger

Dear "Original Avenger"

Stop being such a wimp and go find them. There is this thing called "Google" now that should make it easy. Twenty years is nothing. The people you love are most likely still alive and probably even remember you. 

Write in again once it's been 70. Until then, stop complaining, I have no pity for you. I bet you never even tried to kill them.

-Bucky

Dear Bucky,

I have this problem. The general public has decided the only way to defeat Thanos involves me and my special power. The problem is, I'm not sure if I could physically and psychologically do what it would take. Even the act of getting into position seems impossible. What if he clenches?

-The incredible shrinking man

Dear "Incredible shrinking man,"

If there is any reason to believe this plan might work, it is a risk worth taking. I've heard about this plan, and there are worse ways to die. I can't think of any at the moment, but I'm sure they exist.

-Bucky

I am groot,

I am groot. I am groot, I am groot. I am groot. I am groot, I am groot. I am groot. _I am groot._ I am groot I am groot, I am groot. I AM GROOT. I am groot.

I am groot,  
  
I am groot

Dear "I am groot,"

You should tell your raccoon friend how you really feel. I'm sure he cares about you too. I had a friend like that once.

-Bucky


End file.
